Let's all laugh at Tottenham: 10 Spuds jokes - can you do better?

24 hours to go before we all find out if the 'Arry effect can inspire Tottenham - the Premier League's strongest club - to put in a decent performance against Arsenal.

Why the strongest club,you ask? Well, because they are holding up the other 19.

Anyhoo, ahead of the first North London derby of the season, here are the top 10 Spuds jokes us Addicts have heard in the last few days. If you have heard any others, be sure to share them here...

  • Madonna is the new favourite to be the next manager of Tottenham Hotspur... she's managed to keep clean sheets for the last 18 months.
  • Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: "We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much."
  • "I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make 'Tottenham Hotspur Football Club'. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth five points."
  • A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "Tottenham," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone.
  • * Q. What do Tottenham football and an online casino have in common?
    A. Nothing. At an online casino
     they win once in a while!
  • Harry Redknapp, shortly after his first training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. "It ought to," replies the groundsman. "We put 70 million quid's worth of manure on it every week."
  • After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, "No way, I ain't that special".
  • A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.
  • Redknapp walks into a Burger bar and says, "I want two whoppers". The guy serving says, "OK,.... you will get into the top four and you will win the FA Cup!!"
  • David Blaine was gutted to hear that his record of 48 days in the box doing absolutely nothing has been broken by Darren Bent.