By Avenell Dave
Remember that girl who took your breath away, who left you smitten and gasping for air?
Remember when she told you she felt the same and you couldn't quite believe it?
You kept wondering if it was too good to be true and looking for a catch or something that would snap you back into reality.
Then it happened. You bump into said girl unexpectedly and see her flirting with another guy. Your heart sinks. You were expecting it, but just hoped it would never happen.
She pleads ignorance, makes her excuses and tells you that there's nothing to worry about. You want to believe her.
You give her another chance, and for a while things return to their familiar pattern where she lays all her love on you.
You forget the pain you felt when seeing her stroking the other guy's hand and all seems well with the world.
Then it happens again. You're angry, you feel betrayed. You feel furious with yourself for giving her another chance but her magnetism just drew you in.
Again, she makes a thoroughly convincing case about why you don't understand her, why she always wants to make you happy.
You're even more wary than the last time but eventually she wins you round.
You just can't shake the love you have for her and fall back into her arms, basking in the happiness and almost accepting the humbling, the humiliation you feel when she let's you down.
You get into a cycle of hope followed by disillusionment and despair followed by joy and then back to hope and so on.
That's what it feels like to be a Gooner...
Every year, based on the talent within our ranks and the genius of Arsene Wenger, we allow ourselves to be let down over and over and over again just in case we reach that blissful moment that goes far quicker than it lasts.
The fact is, Wenger talks a great game.
He is constrained by his loyalty to the club, to his paymasters, despite the financial constraints they make him work under and all the time, no one says anything that may explain the challenges to those who subsidise the club: the fans.
Admit it, when we beat Everton 6-1 away and started hammering sides at home, it really looked as if we would give the title a go this year.
Even after the farcical defeats in Manchester, it seemed that we had what it takes to challenge M*nure and Ch*vski for the top prize.
Wenger has always said that the title is the truest indicator of form and quality and he is right.
And the club needs a top four placing every year just to keep its finances in check.
But deep down, I wonder if he really wants the one major trophy that has eluded him - the Champions League - more than the domestic title itself.
The defeat against the Ch*vs cannot be blamed on a dubious refereeing decision.
Wenger often claims that opponents only have one chance on goal and score from it.
If that's the case, doesn't it mean that his goalkeeper and defenders are not doing enough when opponents break though?
Or that we're just not clinical enough when we make chances?
Sadly, we didn't even deserve a goal last Sunday. We didn't test Cech apart from the disallowed goal. We were well beaten, outclassed and that hurts like hell.
The fact that he openly admits he will look to buy in January underlines his understanding that there's only so much a fan can take.
Whatever the case, this week has felt like finding my girl in bed with another guy and then proclaiming he's her brother or a gay best friend.
But while I'd walk away from any girl who disrespected me like that, I can't walk away from Arsenal.
I remind myself that in football as in life, the highs are nothing without the lows.
Arsenal is in my blood and when I'm shattered, humbled and let down yet again, I just keep coming back for more like a b*tch.